Top 5 “Must Read” Relationship Books

I find it interesting that in order to drive a car you need to take a test and be licensed, in order to scuba dive you need to take a class and be certified, in order to have a career most people need to graduate from school…but in order to date and have a relationship you don’t need to do a single stinkin’ thing to prepare…crazy, huh?

How fasinating is it that it’s accepted protocol to do absolutely NOTHING before entering the dating pool. I mean before you enter a swimming pool you generally need to learn how to swim…but dating? Nah, just jump right in and good luck to ya! Most people end up going glub glub…and sinking to the bottom in the beginnning.

In fact, most of dating is learning the hard way. But, why does it have to be that way? I mean, there are millions of people out there whose experiential wisdom could save a lot of people a whole lot of grief, right? And, this knowledge isn’t up for debate, empirically what has been learned actually works!

So, in the spirit of providing a little syllabus for my own version of a Dating 101 class, I’ve put together my top 5 picks for “must read” books (also available on Kindle)to guide you through the wild and wonderful world of dating and relationships:

  1. Mars and Venus on a Date by John Gray
  2. Why Men Love Bitches by Sherrie Argov
  3. Searching for Courtship by Winifred Berg Cutler
  4. The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
  5. The Rules for Online Dating by Sherrie Schneider

Why struggle and stab around in the dark trying to find “the one” when proven practices are out there to help you? At a minimum, I feel that before you should start seeking to get to know others, you should work on getting to know YOURSELF.  Who are you? What do you eally want – not the movie fantasy version. What are your top “must haves” in a mate? What things are absolutely unacceptable for you? Every person’s list will be different, and that’s ok – there is a lid for every pot.

Oh, and don’t worry, if you have some issues or baggage to overcome (fear, insecurity, PTSD, low self-esteem, etc) it’s not too late. Invest in yourself – make YOU a priority and work out your demons – you’ll ulitmately attract a much better mate and keep from settling for less when you have your “stuff” under control.  So, extra credit points in this course go to those who take on, read and complete the bonus book – Calling in The One by Katherine Woodward Thomas. You won’t regret it, I promise!

So, now I want to hear from you. What self-work are you doing to make YOU the best partner you can be? What books  have you come across that have helped to prepare you to graduate into dating and relationshop success?

Photo credit: peteoshea’s Flickr photostream     


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Categories: To Do List


I'm a married publicist who holds a Master's degree in psychology, with a concentration in Marriage and Family Therapy. I'd like to make the world a better relationship at a time.

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4 Comments on “Top 5 “Must Read” Relationship Books”

  1. December 1, 2011 at 2:24 pm #

    I have never heard of these books, they seem pretty interesting especially Mars and Venus on a date…that is a sure must read. One interesting book that made me understand men better is “Think like a man, act like a lady” it is a raw book that I really did find very insightful!!

    • December 5, 2011 at 3:06 am #

      Veeh – I think that Mars and Venus on a Date is the #1 book to read in that list. It really helps you to understand what makes the opposit sex tick, whether you are a guy or a girl…

  2. December 1, 2011 at 2:33 pm #

    Foremost I’m reading your blog religiously!
    I read the ‘love languages’ but at the time I wasn’t sure where my former parter and I fit in at the time. But then he was not fronting who he really was anyways. ie. If someone pretends to be giving in the first few months and NOT a cheapskate (like he was) – it’s hard to tell.
    Do men really like bitches? Would I have to keep him at somewhat of a distance indefinitely? sheesh how long do we need to keep THAT up? Is it the whole “men are hunters” thing?

  3. December 5, 2011 at 3:12 am #

    Thanks Cakes!! I think that everyone puts their best foot forward in the first three months of dating. It’s what’s revealed after that phase, when the walls come down, and you get to see the real person…you may or may not like what you see. That’s why dating is like trying someone on for size…they may seem like they fit in the store, but a month or two in, you might like to trade them in for something more comfortable…lol. My policy became to keep a healthy skepticism about someone until they are proven legit. Too many of us get “sold” on someone too fast…and that inhibits our ability to collect data and wait to decide who someone is based on who they show themselves to be.

    PS – yes, I really do think that men like bitches. I don’t think the premise is about keeping someone at a distance, rather that you stand up for what you need, want and believe in and you don’t suppress yourself to make someone fit you.

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