From the Frog Files…

Kiss any princes lately? Or have they been mostly frogs?

When was the last time you went on a blind date? Not an online dating date…but completely blind…sight unseen, set-up date?

Many of us have these wonderfully good-hearted friends who want to see us paired up and happy, but sometimes their method of matching leaves something to be desired. I was the girl that everyone wanted to set up. I was single until my mid-30’s and had a ton of married friends. I think that the only criteria used to match me with a guy they knew was that we were both single. Fantastic, nothing in common!

On one of these occasions, things went even further. I was working in New York City and the sister of one of my college friends wanted to set me up with a guy that she worked with. She gave him my number, he called and we had a very brief phone chat. He asked me if I’d like to meet for dinner one night. I said yes and we set up a night to meet.

The day came and the plan was that he would meet me in the lobby of my office building and we’d walk over to a place in Little Italy that he had RAVED about. I am all gussied up for my date (skirt, heels). I go down to the lobby and see a guy milling around – must be him. I walk up and introduce myself. Well, I’m not a tall woman (5’4) but this poor guy is definitely shorter than me and today I’m wearing heels.  (I wish I had known, I would have worn flatter shoes) As we’re talking I see that it’s now pouring rain outside. I have a small umbrella in my purse – the kind used to dash between buildings and into cabs…not the kind needed to walk in a monsoon.

Despite the rain, he suggests that we walk to the restaurant. I protest a bit and suggest that we grab a taxi and he insists that it’s a very short walk and that we will be fine (showing me his umbrella). In an effort not to be a pain-in-the-ass, I go along with this plan, but am miserable on the inside as we slog along in the rain (all I can think about it that I’ve ruined my shoes!). After about 4 blocks of walking, it becomes very clear that he isn’t sure where the restaurant is. I suggest that we hail a cab and just provide them with the address, he insists that it’s not far….20 minutes of walking….then 30 minutes of walking. I’m starting to get mad now. I’m soaking, hungry, cold and my feet are hurting.  Al last, after a total of 40 minutes walking we find the restaurant.

We go inside and this “amazing Italian restaurant” looks kind of like a McDonalds inside (you know those booths made of formica?). I’m going with the plan, assuming that the food is delish. We sit down, order glasses of wine and the interrogation begins.

Date: “So-and-so’s sister says that you’re really into ballroom dancing too so we should go ballroom dancing together sometime…”

Moi: “Hmmm….I don’t know where she got her information, I’m not really a ballroom dancer. I probably could fake along if I had to.”

Date: “Oh really, wow, that’s a shame. I was really counting on that….Well, she also said that you are really into ice skating. I think that we should do that for our next date. Maybe in Central Park?”

Moi: “Actually, I’m a terrible ice skater (I say laughing). I have wobbly ankles from too many sports-related ankle sprains. So all I’d do is keep a white-knuckle grip on the outer wall of the rink and scoot along slowly so I dont’ fall down…but it would be fun to give it a try…”

Date: “Oh….I don’t think it would be fun if you have to hold onto the wall….”

Ok, now I’m thinking…did so-and-so’s sister mean to set this yahoo up with someone else? I mean I admit to not knowing her sister super well, but this is just getting bizarre. Plus, we’re not having any real conversation on this date. It’s just me confirming or denying all that he’s supposedly heard about me. This went on for a while with me breaking in intermittantly to ask him questions or try to stear the conversation elsewhere before he asked me if I liked underwater basket weaving or something.

We eat our entrees and the waiter comes to offer dessert. I decline because I’ve pretty much had enough. He looks devastated that I don’t want dessert. I apologize and say that I have to go and catch my train. We walk out and he insists on getting me to my train. I tell him not to worry, I’ll just grab a cab and go. But he insists that he WALK me to the train station, which is not closeby btw. (PS – yes, it’s still raining!) In an attempt to be nice and not bolt on the guy, I go along with this for about 2 blocks and then I just get annoyed  with the damp misery of it all and hail myself a cab -which he actively protests against! He prefers that we walk there together. I ignore him and decide to go with the cab ride to the train station, he decides to jump in to ride along to make sure that I make my train safely. (sigh…)

I’m trying my best to be friendly and polite but there’s absolutely no chemistry going on here. He wasn’t really interested in getting to know me anyway (or wasnt’ sure how to do that), so it had just gotten very, very awkward. The cab pulls up at the train station, I pay the cabbie and get out. Date follows me inside the station. I stop in the vestibule and hug him and say it was nice to meet him, have a nice night….trying to end the date. He insists that he make sure that I get on the train safely. Oy vey!

I see on the big sign that my train is leaving in 5 minutes and that the next one isn’t for another hour. In sincere terror that I might be stuck sitting at the station for an hour with this poor guy I say bye and take off running to catch my train. He starts running along side of me. (what???).   I only escape his presence by jumping on the train just a few seconds before it starts moving. I wave goodnight.

Whew!

I did politely let the guy know that we just weren’t a match when he called to set up our next date. His response was to tell me what a “fancy” and “snotty” girl I was and that I was high maintenance. Okay……

So to me, the moral of the story is….take your date into consideration. Listen to your date. Thankfully, I didn’t have another one like that for a long time…

Have you ever had a date like this? What’s the worst date you have ever had? Share your frog story here….

Photo credit: mikebaird’s Flickr photostream

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Categories: Discussion

Author:coupletastic

I'm a married publicist who holds a Master's degree in psychology, with a concentration in Marriage and Family Therapy. I'd like to make the world a better place...one relationship at a time.

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2 Comments on “From the Frog Files…”

  1. November 25, 2011 at 5:41 pm #

    Love it! Thanks for sharing.

    My best “True Blind Date Frog Story” Right after I moved to Wisconsin a girlfriend of mine mentioned that her cousin needed a date to the County Fair. A whole group of couples were going, and he didn’t want to be a fifth wheel. I was recently separated and hesitant to dive back into dating. However, to put an end to the constant nagging, I gave in.
    “Alright, I’ll go. Have him pick me up at 7 on Friday”
    Toad for sure – looks and all as he picked his dinner out of his teeth standing at my door. The first words out of his mouth…”So Rhonda tells me you’re needing a good roll in the hay.”

    Shut-door-in-face and curl up on couch with a pint of icecream. Perhaps the roll in the hay comment was a play on words with the County Fair, none-the-less…Buh-bye toad!

    Thanks for the memory 🙂

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