Complaints Men Have About Women

If this topic doesn’t generate a storm of comments, I don’t know what will. 😉

What do men complain about when it comes to women…some things you may expect, some of it is interesting to talk about..

Here goes:

1. Your expectations are too high. Ever heard of Prince Charming?  A woman expects that her love story is going to be like a movie or a Nicholas Sparks novel.  This isn’t real.  While we women would say that we know that Hollywood does it up big and that it is all a fantasy, we might not even notice when our man does something out of love, like clean up the kitchen after dinner or wash our car for us.  We expect the weak-in-the-knees kind of love and we often don’t realize all of the other great things they do for us.

2. You want to know what’s next. Women are always contemplating the future.  What are we? Where is this relationship going?  Men usually worry about where their next meal is coming from and that’s as far into the future as they get.  Men don’t have the drive that women do to figure out the future right here and now, they just want to enjoy the ride and let the chips fall where they may.  When a woman can’t settle down and enjoy the present as well, it can leave a man irritated and annoyed.

3. You think men are a work in progress. We see potential and what a man COULD be.  When we date men and perhaps even marry them, we see their rough edges and think of how we can change or fix them to be our “perfect man.”  Stop right there.  Men are the way they are because they want to be that way!  The hobbies they have and the company they keep were chosen because they love them.  They don’t want to be fixed.  Do these guys a favor and either love them the way they are or find yourself another man.

4. You play too hard to get. Women are told to keep a man guessing.  Play hard to get so that men will pursue you because they like the chase.  But men don’t want to chase you if you really don’t want to be caught.  Be honest with your feelings.  If you like a man, then let him know.  If you don’t, don’t lead him on just for the thrill of the chase.

5. You fixate on what men are thinking, when you should be watching what they’re doing. You ask, “What are you thinking?” and he says, “Nothing.” You figure this must be a lie, and decide that we aren’t willing to communicate with you. The problem is, this is the wrong question to ask. Men are action-oriented. You don’t need to ask what they’re thinking, just watch what they’re doing. Coming home late every night? He’s not happy at home. Uninterested in sex, probably crushed by stress. Not calling you back even though he said, “I love you?” He doesn’t love you. You can save the questions about musings until you see a change in guy’s behavior. That’s the surest sign that something needs to be discussed.

6. You Use Emotions As A Weapon. You don’t mean to. I suppose it isn’t your fault that during an important conversation about the future of our relationship you start crying, but surely you understand that this derails the ability to pursue the issue at hand. You’ve, essentially, played a kind of trump card. If he continues to advocate his side, he becomes a bully. If he gives in, he’s weak – a no win situation all around.

7. You don’t understand and/or like the male need for alone time. This often expresses itself with regard to hobbies. Say a man likes to play golf and has played for years. Many a man has gotten into a relationship only to have the woman complain about the time he spends playing golf. She’s jealous of this time. Of course, if she loves him she should know that he NEEDS this time on the golf course. It’s his passion. It’s his release. Without it he will burn up with anxiety and frustration over life’s little indignities. Why does she get involved with a man who has a hobby she doesn’t like? It’s really an accept or reject situation….not time for a lifestyle makeover.

8. You may have a tendency to be critical. Most people try to avoid the word n-a-g, but there seems to be some internal mechanism that makes women predisposed to criticism, in the same way that men are predisposed to seek their man cave. It’s almost a cliché — the wife that complains and makes demands, and the husband that just wants to be left alone to watch TV or work out in the garage. Might be best to pick your battles…

So…what do you think of this list? Anything to take issue with? Anything valid?  If you were judging your female friends, what would you think the men in their lives would complain about?

Excerpts taken from:

Photo Credit: hashmil’s Flickr photostream


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Categories: Discussion


I'm a married publicist who holds a Master's degree in psychology, with a concentration in Marriage and Family Therapy. I'd like to make the world a better relationship at a time.

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13 Comments on “Complaints Men Have About Women”

  1. November 16, 2011 at 1:07 pm #

    I totally agree … but I also think that if a woman feels secure in the relationship the whole experience will be more relaxed. Nothing worse than feeling uncertain. So it goes both ways.

    • November 16, 2011 at 4:45 pm #

      I agree with being secure. People mistakenly think that good relationships are supposed to have a lot of drama – like in the movies. That’s not true – secure relationships are smooth sailing. And that happiness and feeling that you trust the other person and can count on them makes both of you feel very secure and content. 🙂

  2. November 16, 2011 at 2:06 pm #

    This list is so true, I especially like no.6, as women we are very persuasive more so when we drop a tear or two LoL, it’s the way life is!You should do a followup post on what women complain about men, hope the list does not run to 100 🙂

    • November 16, 2011 at 4:46 pm #

      Great idea! I definitely will do a follow-up post about women’s complaints about men! I’ll try to keep it about the same length for fairness…lol

  3. Really!?
    November 16, 2011 at 4:12 pm #

    I read this the other day and it’s SPOT ON!

  4. November 16, 2011 at 9:28 pm #

    I agree with all of it. Sometimes we are just worlds apart.

  5. November 16, 2011 at 10:30 pm #

    Honestly, I could apply any and all of these against many men I’ve known, especially the high expectations one.

  6. November 23, 2011 at 7:30 am #

    all of the above are so true and thumbs up for you because I feel like I am the girl who has a characteristic of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8…. 🙂
    I’ll wait your follow up 🙂

  7. November 24, 2011 at 7:32 am #

    Mostly men think they have right to say anything or except anything, the point is ever we understand why are we together?

  8. angelinblood13
    December 1, 2011 at 10:44 am #

    This was very interesting to read for i actually see a lot of these traits in my partner not me. It’s funny because we are always saying that he is more in touch with his feminine side than me. Though some of these do apply to myself as well i guess with being jealous about his hobby and not experiencing something that you have such a passion about.

  9. drgeraldstein
    December 9, 2011 at 9:03 pm #

    Very well done. I would add just one thing. As I therapist, I’ve seen many men who (with enough effort) get to a deeper side of themselves. Sometimes it is an unexpected capacity for empathy, sometimes it is a lingering hurt from childhood, sometimes it is the ability to be moved to tears by a play, a movie, or a piece of music. A good many men are blunt objects — fair enough. But anyone wishing for something more than that would be well-advised to choose her partner carefully.

  10. February 22, 2012 at 3:43 pm #

    Reblogged this on Emmy & the Beast and commented:
    Interesting piece from a blog that I follow! Something for women to think about…enjoy


  1. Top 5 Most Popular Posts | Couple-tastic! - February 22, 2012

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