8 Reasons to Say Sayonara

What’s the barometer for break-ups?  Do you ever second guess yourself about whether to stick it out or let someone go?

Breaking up can be tricky. In fact, most break-ups don’t “stick” on the first try. Relationships are on-again and off-again all the time because people second guess their decisions or are lured back in with words and promises that don’t match past actions.

So what things should help you make a decision that “sticks”?

1. If You’ve Been Hurt in Any Way This is the only reason for breaking up that’s totally unconditional. If your significant other has been hurting you – physically or emotionally – you must get out. Now. Seriously. If you’re not sure if what’s going on counts as abuse.

2. If You’re More Sad Than Happy Relationships aren’t going to be all roses all the time, but they should bring a little joy to your life. If things are too frustrating or depressing and they’re not balanced out by any good moments, get out while you still can.

3. If You’re Doing All the Work  If you’re the one who’s been making all the phone calls, planning all the dates and planting all the kisses, then you’re not getting what you need out of this relationship (namely: some love in return for all your hard work). There’s a good chance your sweetie wants out but is too chicken to break up with you. Take the reins and do it yourself.

4. If You’ve Been Cheated On  Once the trust is gone, there’s no good reason to stay in a relationship. Besides, you deserve better than someone who can’t keep it together enough to stay loyal to you.

5. If You Can’t Stop Thinking About Your Ex  Maybe you didn’t give yourself enough time to get over your ex before dating again, or maybe you’ll never be that into your current partner, regardless of the timing. Either way, it’s not fair to date somebody while you’re pining so hard for somebody else. Break up, and either try things again with your ex or hold off till you meet someone even better.

6. If Your Friends Are Rallying Against Your Relationship  A lone friend who’s upset about your relationship might just be acting out of jealousy – but when ALL your friends are saying it, you should probably listen. They might be seeing something that you’re too blinded by love to see yourself. This isn’t a reason to break up right away, but at least talk to your friends and take their warnings seriously.

7. If You’ve Cheated  If you cheat, it’s a sign that you’d rather be single. Don’t do your partner any favors by sticking it out. The sooner you break up, the less you’ll both get hurt in the long run.

8. If You Just Feel Like It’s Run Its Course  You don’t need any real, concrete reasons to break up, as long as you feel it in your gut. Just explain to your partner that things have changed and that you want to be single again. It won’t be easy to do, but it’ll be a whole lot better than staying in a relationship long after it’s worth your while.

Are you on the fence about breaking up? What’s keeping you in the relationship? What is making you want to leave? Let’s discuss…


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Categories: Discussion


I'm a married publicist who holds a Master's degree in psychology, with a concentration in Marriage and Family Therapy. I'd like to make the world a better place...one relationship at a time.

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4 Comments on “8 Reasons to Say Sayonara”

  1. Really!?
    November 15, 2011 at 2:51 pm #

    I agree. I also find the ‘ex-factor’ to be a hard one as well. Moving on from people, with whom we very much liked, who may not have been the best for us. Is very difficult.

  2. November 16, 2011 at 4:50 pm #

    It’s so hard to give up on someone…even if they are terrible for you, it’s hard. We feel invested or like we are not giving someone a chance. The problem is that I really feel that more often than not, we women give too many chances. We really want to see and believe the best in people and it’s almost hard for us to imagine that someone actually did something purposefully to hurt us. I think I need to do some writing about bringing out our “inner bitch” to stand up for being treated well and not accepting less than we should.

  3. November 20, 2011 at 11:29 pm #

    All good reasons to remove oneself from a relationship. It never ceases to amaze me how people continue punishing themselves by actively choosing to stay in a negative (or harmful) relationship out of complacency. Being “used” to a certain type of lifestyle or fear of not having anywhere else to go is never an excuse to stay in a doomed relationship. Thanks for posting!

  4. November 24, 2011 at 7:23 am #

    Nice and true! great factors what makes us love-able with a person whom we love.

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