How Often Do You Say I Love You?

According to a Reader’s Digest Global Poll, 70 percent of South Africans tell their spouses “I love you” every day. The US and UK are closely matched with 67 percent and 65 percent telling their spouses how they feel daily.

Where do you fall in this spectrum? I know for me it’s important to say it everyday…sometimes more than once per day. Sometimes by text, sometimes by email, sometimes in the morning, sometimes at night. Just make sure that if you feel it, you say it.

It is, however, important to make sure that “I love you” is never a throw away phrase or habitual punctuation on a sentence. Words are very, very easy to say. The most important complement to saying “I love you” is showing your significant other that you love them and that they are important to you.

One of the great ways to do this is to know your partner’s “love language.” If you haven’t already read the book, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman – get going! It’s a game changer.

Dr. Chapman advises you to learn the ways in which you and your partner express love. Those ways most likely differ. In fact, there are five different ways that people like to give and receive love from one another:

  • Words of Affirmation
  • Quality Time
  • Gifts
  • Acts of Service
  • Physical Touch

So, which is your love language? What love language resonates with your partner? Please never assume that just because you like to give and receive love a certain way that your partner should value those same ways. It’s much more important for you both to identify what works best for each of you, so you can recognize when your significant other is showing love…even if it might not be in the way you’d expect.

It’s worth the investment of a little time to better understand your partner and what rings their bell in the love department….read the book.

Photo credit: daveparker’s photostream on Flickr


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Categories: Tips


I'm a married publicist who holds a Master's degree in psychology, with a concentration in Marriage and Family Therapy. I'd like to make the world a better relationship at a time.

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One Comment on “How Often Do You Say I Love You?”

  1. November 2, 2011 at 7:10 pm #

    I have that book and really enjoyed, it but I coundn’t pinpoint what single category
    i fit in to. There were 3!
    In the stats you mentioned it talked about spouses. But when in a un-married supposed serious relationship is there a norm? or again is it the love languages. I spen 10 months never hearing it. I said it (once) after about 2.5 months of being together and it made my bf so uncomfortable (of course he never said anything back), and I was too afraid to say it again. (after saying it, after the uncomfortable silence – I added “I didn’t say it because I needed to hear it back, it’s not like that”).
    btw – thanks for all these great posts and comments! I am learning a lot!!!!

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